


Simple days

by Heyhyung



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Ages are mixed around, Alternate Universe - High School, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Hyunjin and chan are siblings, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Poorly written, Teen Romance, Theres a notice in chap 3 :)), Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, honestly this fic is very confusing and im legit confusing myself., hyunjin and jeongin were dating, i tried to write making out, other teen stuff, we irritating
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2019-11-17 15:24:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18101234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heyhyung/pseuds/Heyhyung
Summary: jeongin wanted to have a purpose in life and that was what he found when they started dating. Not everything was perfect but it was good enough for jeongin. apparently it wasn't enough for hyunjin.enter chan. ironically jeongin likes him too. but theres always saying the second times a charm right? that's what jeongin liked to think.chan is one hell of a boy





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im new and im bored, enjoy this fic as i change the notes every week or so lol kidddding. weird fact but originally there would be wayy more sexual stuff in here but im lazy and cant write smut for my life so maybe in future chaps eh. 
> 
> also i procrastinate alot and very forgetful. so that will explains but my future actions oop

Being in a basement that strongly smelled of weed wasn't the best place for a sophomore to be in but jeongin couldn't care less when he blew out some smoke. 

Closing his eyes, he leaned his head against the sofa so now he's facing the ceiling. It was mostly to block out whatever Ryo was currently doing which most likely would be abnormal especially if jeongin swears he heard ryo saying something like 'AYO where my dick pics at?' but jeongin doesn't ponder on it for too long. 

" Hey innie ! "  Ignoring the lack of response from jeongin, he continued on talking.

"There's a gathering at mark's house tomorrow, you in?"jeongin finally got up from his position to stare where ryo was, which unsurprisingly was on top of the tv. 

It's not like jeongin had anything to do tomorrow or any day in fact so he was mostly going. But In between the flurry of thoughts jeongin wondered if it was Senior, mark tuan or the junior, mark lee. Most likely Mark tuan because the last time he saw Mark lee at a party, it was when he got so stoned the seniors almost banned him from touching any kinds of drugs after they had to have someone run to the nearest convince store just to buy eye drops before letting him leave. 

Stupidly enough jeongin asked the question anyways. " which one? " 

" You know which one stupid " Ryo teased him before jumping of of the tv to walk over to where jeongin was lounging at. 

" So is that a yes or no? " Jeongin watched as Ryo came closer. 

He nodded, not bothering to answer verbally.

Ryo had a giddy expression on his face, clapping his hands together he placed his lips on top of the rolled-up joint jeongin had in between his fingers making jeongin frown a bit. 

" hey get your own joint " Ryo smiled before blowing the smoke directly into jeongin's face who was unfazed by the action. But before leaving jeongin he placed a sloppy peck on jeongin's cheek making everyone in the room groan including jeongin. 

" go get a room !" One Ryo's friends, Jae said out loud making everyone agree with him. 

"this is my house dumbass!" Ryo retorted, leaving the room to go upstairs, most likely to the kitchen to find some food. 

Jeongin still in slight horror, chuckled knowing it was all light bantering but was still in disgust over the saliva on his cheek. Blowing out more smoke he grabbed his sleeve and rubbed it across his cheeks. _Gross_. 

After a few minutes jeongin decided to retire and return back home before his dad yells at him for being out late. He got up, stretching since he has been sitting for a while and waved goodbye to some of the people who were still sane. 

The cold air greeted him when he finally got out of ryo's grasp. he walked over to where he had his bike parked and was headed home. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flopping onto his bed was probably the best feeling. The buzz he felt earlier wore off as soon as he entered his house so he's completely bare only with his self conscious with him. Although he did get a small lecture from his dad about studying and some other stuff jeongin couldn't recall but other then that the wait for his bed wasn't that long.

He was exhausted and all he wanted to do was sleep it off. Not bothering to change into more comfortable clothing, he slept with his jeans and sweatshirt that had a lingering smell of weed which his dad probably noticed but didn't care. As long as his grades are up and high he could do anything he wants basically. He'll just deal with the consequences in the morning.

That night he didn't sleep so well. Or like all nights when he only has one thing in mind.

_" Please hyunjin, am i the only one who wants this relationship to continue? i-i-I don't unde- " jeongin choked back a sob._

_Wiping a single tear from jeongin's face, hyunjin sadly smiled._

_" Jeongin, you're being overdramatic "  The words coming from hyunjin's mouth didn't match with hyunjin's expression. But from that Jeongin went from teary-eyed to fuming. He asked for an answer and he got it. That night he left in a hurry, ignoring his name being called, he didn't look back but it hurts to know hyunjin wouldn't even go after him. What did he except? He broke down once he reached his room but no one needs to know that._

 

  

 

 

 

 

Waking up, jeongin instantly regretted not changing. He could feel his jeans brush up against his legs, making him feel stiff and uncomfortable. Even worse his back feels as if he went to wrestling match the night before.  Groaning jeongin looked over to his alarm reading the time to make sure he isn't late for school. 

**7:35 AM**

School starts at 8:00 so he's safe for now. Getting up from his bed; he takes off his pants and grab his uniform that was hanging on his chair. Making a beeline to the washroom jeongin comes back more awake. Grabbing his notes on his desk and messily stuffing them into his already cramped bag he flicks the light off and head downstairs. The house was empty as usual, his dad goes to work early so jeongin doesn't need to worry about him in the morning. Jeongin skips breakfast so he puts on his shoes and is out the door.

By the time he gets to school, he could see many of his fellow students scattering around the campus area. He didn't know anybody from the crowd so he ignores them while locking his bike with a lock he bought just a few days ago in spite of having a bike for 2 years. 

Waving politely to his teachers he goes straight to his classroom which is at the very end. Jeongin was hoping he wouldn't pass hyunjin but it was impossible to avoid knowing hyunjin always come 10 minutes before class starts which would be now and his classroom is right next to jeongin's (not that jeongin remembers or anything). Speaking of the devil.

Unfortunately hyunjin not only is there like he calculated but he's standing right near the entrance to jeongin's classroom. Great. Even worse hyunjin's just standing there talking to seungmin as if he didn't tear jeongin's heart into twos but then again, that was 4 months ago so why would he care anyways. Jeongin was being overdramtaic once again. After sucessfully Shuffling past hyunjin, jeongin breathes out in relief. Hyunjin barely glanced at him and probably didnt even see him zooming, jeongin couldnt figure out if it was a good thing or bad thing. 

Placing his bag on to his desk, he sat down in a slump. Getting all worked up over a simple situation that wasn't important in the first place made jeongin feel like a doofus. He spent longer then he should've moping around and rethinking about the times he spent with hyunjin to figure out why hyunjin felt like 'that'. After all jeongin never really felt the need to try to rekindle their friendship but now he's getting second thoughts. After a while his feelings toward hyunjin is mostly neutral, more like wanting to be friends again. Even more then he had to admit he missed hyunjin's bubbly personality and warm hugs that felt like all the love he needed in life. Jeongin pulled his notes out of his bag and placed it neatly on top of his desk but his mind wondered back to hyunjin.

All jeongin wanted to do was just go back to the old days where the two would be laying around in hyunjin's room; their favourite artist playing in the background and just useless chattering about random topics filling the room. 

Realizing he was thinking too much and should quickly study before his teacher arrives, jeongin shakes his head— clearing the his thoughts and stared blanking at his page. 

_i really do miss hyunjin._

 

 

 

 

 

 

Opening the door to his house, he instantly knew his dad was still out— guessing from the lack of human civilization visual he got once entering the home. Rolling his eyes, jeongin headed upstairs towards his cramped room with no decoration whatsoever. Sighing, jeongin felt bored out of his mind. School was a bore like usual and nothing was fun anymore. Someone could rob his house for all he cared but it would still be too uninteresting. Checking his phone a few times, with only a few messages from Ryo about the party— jeongin dropped his phone beside him. Already lying down, the best option was just to nap until 8 so he rolled over to the side and rested his head on his arm.

 _ **9:24 PM, Ryo :**_ babyy y where are U?/

Jeongin woke up with a groan. His dark room was lightly dimmed because of his phone, buzzing every 5 minutes. Already knowing who it was since only one person texts him, jeongin got up to flick on the lights so he could see better.

 _ **9:27 PM, Ryo :**_ u said you were coming :(( 

 _ **9:28 PM, Ryo :**_ hellloo u ther?//

just buy guessing from ryo's text messages, he was most likely wasted. It warmed jeongin's heart knowing even if ryo was out of his mind and probably would regret doing anything in the morning he still managed to put an effort to text jeongnin.

 ** _ **9:30 PM, Jeongin:**_** im coming, your ass better be alive when i get there

 _ **9:27 PM, Ryo :**_ cant guran tee !!

Slightly smiling, jeongin grabbed one of his grey sweatshirts he found hanging out of his drawer and pulled it over his uniform. It has became a rather normal habit for jeongin not caring about his appearance leading to him never changing out of his uniform unless it's needed which is usually never. Grabbing his jeans he wears almost everyday; which strangely smells like weed, he quickly pulls them on and checks himself in the mirror that came with the drawer. Brushing his floppy bangs aside so it isn't bothering his eyes he grabs his phone from his bed and is closing the door. Rushing down the stairs, he almost slips on the last step; hoping his dad didn't hear him but of course he probably wasn't even home.  _Typical._

Once feeling the cool air brush against his face, jeongin turns around to lock the door. Smiling a bit to himself he reaches inside his pocket but only after a few seconds he realizes it was way too big to ft in his tiny jean pocket. 

_oh shit._

He forgot his vape pen in his room— Probably somewhere in between the heaps of sweaters he likes to pile up. But then again It wasn't that he needed it that badly since he wasn't a cigarette smoker in the first place but it was always nice to take a few hits— plus it was pretty much unimportant to him since mark's gathering is filled with pot smoke and other things mark somehow managed to get his hands on. tapping his foot impatiently, jeongin pouts but decided to leave it anyways.

This time jeongin didn't unlock his bike, but instead he walked towards where the main street was to catch the bus. Mark's house wasn't near jeongin's neighbourhood and he didn't need a text to tell him where it was since he been there a lot. 

a few people gave him small glances when he walked on to the bus but he ignored them not in the mood— finding a seat he sat in there in silence, not really thinking of anything. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Walking into mark's house was like walking into a steam room filled with a bunch of wasted teens. Jeongin didn't understand how no one caught them yet since he could literally  hear the music ringing in his head even before stepping in. But then again jeongin didn't understand a lot of things and he most likely didn't care when he was very sure he's not gonna walk out until next morning. From where he was entering he could tell most of the people here is either high or completely sober; no in between. adjusting his collar he pulls out his phone to send a quick text to ryo but slid it back into his pocket after spotting ryo at the end of the room, talking to some dudes. He made eye contact with Ryo who only gave him a lopsided smile. Taking that as a sign to leave, jeongin headed to the kitchen where most of the drinks are probably severed.

Every time he comes to mark's house he still can't get over how big it is and it takes longer then usual to squeeze through the crowds of people who were jamming out to twice's songs for some reason, not a song he'll choose to rave to but whatever. Plus the looks he gets from people while going through the crowd made him especially uncomfortable. immediately regretting his choices of just pulling a sweater over his school uniform— It made him look younger then he already was. 

Finally arriving at his destination, he watched as one guy pass him a solo cup. Nodding as in a silent 'thank you' he took it anyways. Even if korean teens could get their hands on drugs and other illegal things into Korea it doesn't mean they'll also put more effort into buying a more illegal substance just to spike someones drink. Not to mention everyone in this gathering is probably in serious danger if the authorities ever found out so why risk it more? Takes too much time and most likely wouldn't happen so jeongin didn't hesitate when he took a large swig. Feeling oddly satisfied when he could feel the burning liquid pass thorough his throat. Maybe a few more sips could help him loosen up more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

maybe a few more sips actually meant a few more cups to be exact. Saying jeongin was feeling tispy was an understatement. From where he was in the kitchen, he soon relocated to one of the couches making small talk with the people there. Giggling a bit at something the guy in front of him said, jeongin rolled his head back onto the couch. 

 _this was fun_ , jeongin thought.

For someone like jeongin, he will be very sensible when he's sober; not talking to much but only when needed. He'll be in his own world when you see him at school but when he has taken more then he should've during a night, jeongin feels like the jeongin he was a few months ago. The thought made him frown a bit but nonetheless it reminded jeongin of the time he spent the whole night talking to some kid about the korean government system. At the time it seemed interesting but now he has useless facts about the government stuck in his head.  

" Jeonginnie! " confused, jeongin draped his arms across the couch to turn around. 

" oh hey changbin " It was the junior he met a while ago, probably a month after hyunjin— trying to skip class. Apparently changbin was also trying to skip class so they basically bonded over vape pens and how school sucks sometimes. At first he was wary of the junior with his brooding aura, as if he was gonna jump jeongin any second now but it was too late when he found out changbin was the opposite. It was a chilly day when they met for a second time so jeongin wore a pink hoodie he occasionally wore at home and once changbin landed his eyes on jeongin, he almost suffocated with changbin's hugs. 

_" oh My Gawd! you're so cute? i'm in love with you, and your braces? oh mYY- " Jeongin was shocked and in horror because he just walked into the cafeteria and now all attention was on the two._

_" hyung! thats weird! " Jeongin tried to pry changbin's arms off of him but it was no avail so he awkwardly sat with changbin's friends because he wouldn't let go. At least he was now familiar with felix , jisung and the other guys who like to call themselves the 'dreamies'._

" you wanna come play truth or dare? " it took longer then a minute for the words to make sense in jeongin's head, the cups were getting to him. 

" uh sure! " Not really sure of what he was agreeing to since he could barely hear changbin over the loud music, he got up from the couch regardless.

giggling when changbin tried to wrap his arms around they turned into friendly bantering with changbin cooing at him for being so cute. almost like a routine jeongin struggles to get out of changbin's grasp on the younger but still tries. It was worth a shot— on second thought jeongin regretted doing so after hearing changbin pull out his 'baby' voice. 

" hyUNng! " Jeongin screeched, surprising himself but managed to shock changbin enough to run away, not to far since he still wanted to play the game of ' ooga booga' or whatever changbin said. 

changbin sadly pouted but continued going upstairs which strangely lead to another big living room. This time jeongin spotted some of changbin's friends and a bunch of other people.

" if you don't already know who this is, you suck " Changbin grinned.

Jeongin was forcefully seated next to changbin who had a strong grip around jeongin's waist but jeongin didn't mind so he made himself comfortable in his hold.

before the game even started a pink haired senior came running into the room, slamming the door not before announcing his presence. 

" what's up heteros, i'm here to spice things u—MOVE OVER BITCH! " He almost knocked down a vase coming over to the circle but managed to stumble his drunk ass next to jeongin who only giggled at this behaviour as if it was a normal routine, which probably is true. 

The game of truth or dare quickly started after everyone was tired of hearing Ryo whine about the game starting to late. At first it was fun, everyone was in a light mood with simple truths and slightly proactive dares but nonetheless jeongin was enjoying the atmosphere.  He took a small sip of his drink listening to jaemin drunkingly confess his dying heart to jeno which wasn't close to the dare he got. Jeongin smirked behind his cup but it was when he decided to interfere when he glanced at the blond haired boy, renjun who looked visibly upset and most likely uncomfortable guessing by the way he was fidgeting in his seat. 

" Okay love birds, take it out side, c'mon, let's goooo " Jeongin pouted when jaemin continued to shy away from a flustered jeno. Standing up he walked over to where the trio was sitting and pulled them all out including renjun, making them follow him outside where all the music and smoke was. 

" Renjun you know what to do " Jeongin gave a small wink and knowing smile and returned to the circle. The slight inconvenience went by as if nothing happened when they all came back into the room with smiles. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jeongin was now tispy, the cups he drank a while ago was slowly draining out which made him feel more self conscious. Despite the gut feeling he continued to flow with the vibe not wanting to ruin the mood everyone had. 

"last one and we'll play something else" everyone nodding along and changbin spun the bottle once more. 

Jeongin leaned back against his arms not expecting it to land on him. But a look of surprise didn't cross jeongin's face when the bottle slowly made a stop directly in front of jeongin.

 " dare " Changbin gave a questioning glance at him not expecting a dare since all jeongin answered the whole night was just stupid questions from picking truth. 

 " ok, i dare you to kiss... " Changbin trailed off, looking around the circle for a victim. 

Jeongin rolled his eyes, kissing as a dare was very basic and his mind is too set on being reasonable to nod and agree. 

" drumroll please!... Felix! " The sound in jeongin's ear went static for a moment; the haze in room started clearing up.

But for the orange haired-junior he was extremely aware of the fact he's kissing someone. Not that he had a small liking to the younger boy because he did love jeongin, who wouldn't— but it's sad to say it's felix's first kiss so of course his hands got clammy. 

Jeongin finally caught up with reality and looked over at felix who were avoiding his glances. Smiling at the elder's cuteness jeongin got up from his seat and walked over to where felix was sitting. The two boys were sitting next to him sneaked a sly smile at tomato red felix but chose to scoot over, leaving space for jeongin to come over and have a little privacy despite everyone's eyes on the two. 

jeongin leaned in real close, to a point where he could hear felix's breath hitch but only to felix's upcoming heart attack jeongin moved his head to the side , now hovering over felix's ears. 

" relax okay? " felix slowly nodded but closed his eyes.

" JUST GIVE HIM A DAMN KISS! " Knowing the loud voice it was most likely Ryo and his annoying ass.

Jeongin stared at felix's face before closing the space between them. Totally lost in the moment jeongin forgot about the dare and decided to normally kiss other then everyone just making it a peck when they got the dare. 

(uh authors note sorry: I DONT KNOW HOW TO KISS)

It takes a lot of will power not to lick felix's lips before slowly pressing his lips onto felix's since now he has gained the habit of doing so when hyunjin and jeongin were a thing. But jeongin had to admit, he could tell this was felix's first kiss by the way he's barely responding. To explain better it's like kissing a wall for practice. determined to make this kiss work since he already put so much he cupped felix's cheeks and tried to encourage felix to respond but that was stopped short when he felt a strong grasp pull against his hoodie making him fall back and away from Felix.

 " what the fuck? " Jeongin whipped around to glare at the person and it didn't waver when he met with chan's eyes staring back at him.

Chan continued on to say nothing but he did pull jeongin up from the floor.

" come with me " jeongin tried to protest and was pretty offended when chan refused to let go. 

"Chan hyung! what the fuck!" The elder dragged jeongin through the crowd, leading them both to the front porch. 

Now fuming, jeongin crossed his arms when chan finally let go to face him. 

" what do you think you're doing here? " jeongin was completely sober now. There was no logic in that but he had a full sense on what they were arguing about but jeongin can understand that the argument was stupid. He came here to forget his life and yet he's not doing that even worse chan's lips keep on moving but all jeongin could think about is how soft it looks. 

" jeongin? jeongin! " Chan waved a hand in front of jeongin's face making his eyes snap back to chan's face; his eyes searching for some kind of reaction. 

" U-uh.. " jeongin stuttered under intense gaze.

" it's none of your business anyways! a-and don't act like you're my dad, w-what's the difference between me and all the other kids h-here? " Jeongin mentally screamed at himself for stuttering. In moments like this he couldn't tell if he's sane anymore.

Chan frowned. " i'm just looking out for you ". Jeongin looked away, not wanting to make it more awkward then jeongin imagined in his head.

" Just— stop being a b-buzzkill and bother some other sophomore, join me or l-leave me, There's only two options " jeongin now brushing off his nerves, he turned around and headed back into the house. He was just glad it didn't last that long even with chan's stubbornness, he probably knew it himself that the argument was weak and he just wasted jeongin's time by pulling him all the way outside for two minutes of fuckery.

Taking a cup from some guy sprawled across the couch, probably half dead;  he took a small sip to test the waters. It tasted more bitter then usual and wasn't the taste he liked but it will do. He only got half way through the door when chan pulled the cup out of his hand. 

Groaning, jeongin glared at chan but continued walking back to the room. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see chan taking a smaller sip of the liquid but pulled it far away from his face, grimacing probably from the bitter aftertaste. That made jeongin snicker a bit but he didn't face chan.  

 Nobody noticed when the two boys entered the room. Seeing how changbin saved a spot for him he sat down with no problem. But chan had to forcefully glare at the girl who sat next to felix so he could sit there but that glare turned into a pout when she refused..  _He's such a baby._ The smile reappeared on jeongin's face again.

 Noticing Ryo wasn't in the room, changbin explained to him that even after jeongin left they still continued the game and ryo was dared to deep throat someones toe and knowing Ryo he probably did so now he's possibly puking out his system in the bathroom.

They continued the game like no body left. It was a wonder how long they have played this game without being bored. By now jeongin was getting bored but probably because he the most sober one out of everyone, maybe except for chan _cuz he's a pussy_. Jeongin eyes roaming around the room he noticed a cup still full, beside changbin.  _Bingo_

Failing to be subtle he straight up reached across changbin's lap making it look weirder then jeongin planned too. 

" what the fuck " Everyone for some reason everyone stopped to watch as jeongin grab ahold of the cup and take a large swig. Letting out a satisfied sigh jeongin realized everyone was quiet.

" uh, continue? " Without looking, he could guess chan was burning holes into the cup in his hands. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not gonna lie, jeongin thinks everyone in this room at least kissed someone twice already. The cups jeongin stole while chugging them all down? he was back on track so he was giggling a lot making him think he was sure his voice was always this high pitched.  

The bottle span again, almost the 35th spin if jeongin was counting. This time it was suspiciously slowing down near jeongin. His gut churned when the bottle made a stop right in front of one of the many cups he has stolen. 

Huffing, jeongin braced himself for the next part. saying this more then two times already he was still sober despite drinking a lot he would remember every detail of this kiss so why not just decrease it to the pecks everyone did when they were sane. 

But then, in his luck the bottle landed in none other then the blonde haired junior himself. Jeongin was the first one to look over at chan. 

On second thought, peck wasn't even a word in his dictionary. What's that? an animal?. He wasn't going to miss this one in a lifetime chance. and by now it's pretty obvious the younger had a small crush on the junior. But then again who wouldn't? Chan was like the definition of best boy. He had personality and everybody would like to be in company with him. His looks weren't helping either. Chan was everybody's eomma's ideal son in law. 

Seeing how none of them would make a move jeongin dusted off the non-existent dust from his pants to stall but he noticed everyone waiting for something so he quickly made up his mind and crawled over to chan. Ironically felix was sitting next to him so it will be more awkward if felix was watching. 

" let's just hurry up " Picking up his courage form the scraps he had left he kneeled in front of chan who still wasn't saying a word, just observing.  

Cancelling out all the other noise jeongin leaned in, not closing his eyes from being more then nervous but didn't show it. Pressing his lips on to chan's, he could hear the background clear and loud. It was like pulling him out of the kiss and it sure did when he pulled back almost as if kissing chan burned an angry memory into him. Searching chan's eyes; The ground suddenly spun around and around making him feel all of the alcohol he consumed combining to take affect at once. 

" fuck " Jeongin muttered under his breath. Getting up from his knees, he dusted the now real dust from his pants but slightly fell from his stance. Hearing jumbled words that more sounds like people asking if he was okay he waved them off not bothering to respond. His head still aching— jeongin managed to hold himself against the door frame, but continued out. Sometimes tripping over his own two legs, he felt like he could breathe more in the drug infused air then the humid room with all of  _those people._

Getting outside, actually breathing in the fresh air; he runs his hands through his sweaty bangs— tugging at the strands. The ringing in his ear is still there, not letting jeongin think straight.

_why did i do that?_

_what in the world happened?_

He sat down at the bench, not even sitting almost like fainting and now laying down on it. 

_i fucking hate my fucking life_

He didn't cry but he did feel like it. Jeongin laid there for a while, he closed his eyes of course but he could hear people leaving and entering and yet no one came to check on him, but what did he expect anyways. He craved for a smoke but remembered he was practically broke, with his dad being a douche and himself being ignorant for not getting a job so he couldn't buy more cigarettes if he wanted too. sighing jeongin turned to his side, hugging himself for warmth. The thoughts that were rapidly coming together were like needles pricking into his skin. Too harsh and too fast. One thing he knows for sure now is when he pulled back from chan all he could see was the rejection. Chan did't have an expression on his face, it was just blank. It made him feel so insecure and maybe unloved the room felt as if it was coming closer and closer to him.  Just thinking about the memory made him shiver despite being already warm.

He left soon after that, he just left his bike there— probably get it tomorrow and risk being late for class but it doesn't matter right now. From the looks of it, he definitely looks like a drukne teenager with his shaky feet and the slight droop with his smile. Jeongin giggled a bit, thinking about how pathetic his night went. From being like any other night to outright a pity excuse of reality. 

_oh wait, i didn't take my bike here._

_where am i going ?_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and opinions are welcome.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeongin is a normal teen in his normal life. That totally does not include in him getting in a fight with his ex because of a stupid (that's in jeongin's word) snitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome. hope you dont ask for a refund for ruining your brain and eyes from reading this =.=  
> also i just did a quick re-read and editing type of thing and noticed that the jumpcuts are really sudden so sorry for that oop

_" hey chan hyung, would you mind picking me up? " His speech wasn't slurred but he did sound more tired then usual._

_The line went quiet. Chan wasn't responding but he could hear some shuffling noises in the background._

_Jeongin finds himself thinking wether if it was a good idea to call chan knowing chan could've easily rejected him because they barely know each other. The only interaction that was longer then a millisecond was when chan opened the door on a late friday night to let in a cold jeongin, being thrown out by his father wasn't the best thing to do on a friday but he seeked comfort so he headed straight to hyunjin's house._

_Was left Disappointed when chan told him hyunjin wasn't home but jeongin guessed the older felt pity for the boy so he let jeongin in anyways._

_" where are you? " Chan's voice startled him, almost forgetting he was on the call._

_" uh .. football field " Jeongin heard a door opening and an engine starting._

_Jeongin felt the call slipping from his hands but just let it fall onto the grass with a thud._

_" hey you there? " Jeongin slightly hummed. He was tired and it exhausted more just to even respond._

_The ground wasn't so far from where jeongin was laying which was on one of those old bleachers that make a squeak when you sit on one._

_He stared into the dark sky, seeing how there was no light, he wondered how chan was going to find him._

_" i'm here " His speaker was very useful, jeongin nodded not realizing chan couldn't see him anyways._

_The steady beat of his breathing was interrupted when he heard faint footsteps crushing the grass beneath their shoes._

_" Hello hyung " jeongin stayed in his position but tilted his head to glance at the figure coming closer._

_" Let's go home " Chan beckoned for jeongin to get up. Seeing chan upside down from his view, jeongin extended his arms to reach out towards chan._

_" can you carry me, please? " Chan sighed— watching as jeongin's face break out into a small smile. He was having a nice writing session, actually getting ideas down but now he's out in the cold, trying to get home a stubborn jeongin.  At least jeongin was too cute to resist._

_Chan grabbed both of jeongin's arms and pulled him up. Out of instincts jeongin draped his hands over chan's shoulder, wrapping his legs around chan's torso. Chan grunted from the sudden increase of weight but didn't refuse the affectionate act._

_From the awkward silence and walking back with jeongin curling more into chan's arms, chan shifted when jeongin leaned in more to chan's ear._

_" hey, you okay? " Jeongin sniffled._

_" not really "  He gently placed jeongin down once they got to the car, trusting jeongin to get in himself._

_" You wanna talk about it? " The broken conversation was making jeongin smile a bit, at least chan was making an effort to comfort him after seeing his state._

_" boy problems " Chan muttered an ' oh ' and started the car._

_The drive way home wasn't as quick as jeongin thought it would be and the awkward conversation they had a while ago wasn't helping. What a quick relationship development, jeongin thought. From barely acknowledging each other to jeongin doing all of these actions that no one would dare do to a complete stranger. Chan didn't turn on the radio so jeongin was left to sit there in the dark, Ever so glancing at chan's face, illuminated by the street lights or his jittery hands that were in his lap._

_" can i sleep with you tonight?.. i don't feel like staying at home " Chan wasn't startled by the wording of jeongin's request but barely even thought about it before nodding, not letting his eyes off the road._

_Chan knew jeongin disliked staying at his house seeing how he always saw the younger hanging out around the house with hyunjin. Chan didn't say anything since the younger always seemed  uncomfortable when he's even near chan so he never spoke to jeongin in a way like they were friends. So he has a reason to find it weird how jeongin called him first— since he was sure seungmin and some other kid were friends but then again he was the only one who had a license._

_Chan missed the shy smile jeongin had on his face when chan took a turn onto their driveway._

_This time jeongin lifted himself up from the seat and walked side by side with chan into the warm house. He kicked off his shoes when chan told jeongin to wait in his room while he would get some extra clothes for jeongin to sleep in. Agreeing, jeongin padded his way upstairs, passing by hyunjin's room along the way. Jeongin didn't feel nervous despite being in the same house that hyunjin lives in since he know hyunjin isn't home. A not so faint memory reminded him hyunjin was at a sleepover with felix and the others. Renjun who was hosting the gathering invited him earlier the week but jeongin declined since gatherings weren't his thing. If only future him knew._

_Flopping onto chan's bed, he made himself comfortable._

_" hey got something " Jeongin noted chan had a habit of saying hey a lot. It was unimportant but went into jeongin's mind anyways._

_the two got ready with changing into more comfortable clothing and jeongin snuggling into the sheets. Chan grabbed his laptop from his desk and sat next to a lying jeongin._

_" are you not going to sleep? " Chan shook his head._

_" nah, i got some things to do, you should though, you must be tired? " Jeongin switched sides so he's facing chan's side profile. He didn't say anything but wrapped his arm around chan's waist. Startling chan a little, chan looked down at jeongin who was staring right back._

_chan looked liked he was about to say something, his mouth opening before closing again. He had a lot of unanswered questions like, why was jeongin here in the first place, or where's hyunjin?. Chan wished he listened to what hyunjin was saying earlier out of curiosity._

_" good night " jeongin closed his eyes seeing how chan's face morphed back to his neutral features., listening to the soft clicking of chan's laptop and the slight music coming out from his earphones._

_Jeongin should feel bad for seeking comfort in hyunjin's brother right after hearing hyunjin's harsh words for the second time. It was bad enough he had to add 'second' but it was the truth. Chan was like something jeongin could count on. He took care of jeongin when hyunjin was busy doing who knows what, with his phone turned off. Leaving a hurt jeongin in chan's comfort. Or the times when they would fight over petty things making both hyunjin and jeongin pained, a piece in their minds knowing the relationship was turning into dust._

_before drifting off into slumber jeongin didn't think before muttering a small " i like you a lot chan" . It was a small moment of weakness and jeongin was just too tired to care. Chan probably didn't hear of course since his ears probably gone deaf over the loud american music jeongin could hear._

_but oh boy was he wrong. because chan had a habit of only wearing one earbud so when jeongin thought he could barely hear anything he heard the confession loud and clear.._

_**5:37 PM, Hyunjin:** stop acting so childish and clingy_

_**5:38 PM, Hyunjin:** i dont have to be with you 24/7 _

 

_**3:04 AM, Hyunjin:** im sorry baby_

 

_**3:04 AM, Hyunjin:**  i will take you on a date tmr? ok? _

 

_**8:54 AM, Jeongin:** its ok :)_

_**8:57 AM, Jeongin:**_   _lov u_

_seen._

 

 

 

 

 

 

Funnily enough, when jeongin woke up. He brushed his hair towards the side and normally did his usual routine. His mind was not foggy at all, he could still remember the pounding headache he had walking home but now that's all gone. He guessed the hangover was also gone with no logic but he didn't mind. Though while brushing his teeth he almost choked on his toothpaste remembering that he singlehandedly kissed chan. The junior that was starting take affect in jeongin's small heart. 

Taking a small hit from the remaining juice he had left, he scrolled through group chat looking for something to do after school ignoring the fact he was wasting more time since he was extremely late to school. 

" Jeongin! you still up there? " He heard his dad voice echoing through the empty house.  _huh_. It was weird to hear his dad's voice this early in the morning. He finished packing his bag so he headed downstairs anyways. 

" you have an appointment for your braces on sunday, so whatever plans you have with your friends. cancel them " Jeongin nodded along. His dad gave him a slight look probably smelling the faint stench of weed lingering on him. 

" you want a ride to school? " Jeongin's hand stopped mid way from opening the door. The atmosphere was awkward from the broken relationship he had with his father but it was too of a good deal to turn away. 

The only downside was that the ride was even more awkward. They both said nothing. Jeongin exited the car, waving goodbye and that was the end of it. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sprinting out the door, he pulled his phone out of his backpack. 

 _new notification from:_   **lol your mom gey**

 

 _ **3:23 PM, marker water :**_  anyone down for a meet up at jaebum's house? 

 

 **3:24 PM, bamwam :** When ? 

 

 **3:25 PM, marker water :** idk today i guess

_seen by wanky , chuchulikesdick , fuckyou , baby , bamwam and 9 others.._

_****3:25 PM, marker water :****_  calm? 

 **3:25 PM, wanky :** calm

 ** **3:25 PM,  chuchulikesdick :**** calm

 ** ** **3:25 PM, lil chicken :****** calm

 ** ** ** **3:25 PM, wassup tokyo :******** calm 

 ** ** ** ** **3:25 PM, bamwam :********** just like this message so it doesnt spam lol 

_liked by marker water, chuchulikesdick , fuckyou, drum , local drug dealer , baby , squirl , mHOE and 8 others.._

Jeongin remembers the first time mark invited him to one of the meetups. It was fun since mark was one of the nicer seniors that looked out for the little by offering them a place where most of the big kids hang out but jeongin was one of the last when mark got scolded for bringing newbies; ending in parents contacting the school, asking why does my child smell like weed? that was a hell of a week. 

racking his brain for any memory of jaebum though, he recalled hearing mark ramble about his boyfriend being so dark and moody or whatever so jeongin put together that jaebum was probably mark's mysterious drug dealer or his boyfriend of course. The conclusion didn't connect with mark rambling but it was fine since jeongin was just happy he had something to do.

some wind gushed making him realize where he was actually walking too. 

_hm, i should really get a haircut._

 He stared at his reflection in the glass. Maybe he should get more sleep, jeongin couldn't see any difference apart of the hair that always covers his eyes but it wouldn't hurt to do something new. 

The bus came and jeongin pulled out his bus card. He took a simple turn and sat down in the nearest seat with no one to bother him noticing there were other students who took this bus . In a typical manner he leaned his head against the window, waiting for the bus to start.

_maybe if i hold on longer, it wouldn't be that bad._

This was the calmest moment in his whole week. And he was gonna enjoy it since he had a feeling not everything would go well tonight.

 

 

 

jeongin had more then enough time to spare when he arrived at home so he flipped through some books he was supposed to read for homework. Lately he noticed he barely spoke words other then the very few arguments he had with chan. If his life was made into a book, it would be very boring since the plot barely moves. All jeongin does all day is either sleep, cry or drink. Sighing, jeongin moved from his desk, picking up his vape pen from his drawer. 

He glanced at the liquid, flicking the glass with his finger. Maybe he did this all for the fun in it or maybe he did it because he liked the buzz, either way there were way too many 'maybe' in his life. He dropped back onto the bed again. It wasn't time but he might as well come early. Mark already sent the address so it was pretty much a ' hey come whatever time' since the location is already there. 

Jeongin pulled off his uniform, opting for a simple black t-shirt. 

" hey im going for a while " His dad was on the couch lounging, watching some korean tv show. 

" hm, don't bring drugs home " Jeongin muttered a small ' yea ' and left the house.  

On the way to jaebum's place he stopped by at a near by variety store, buying some milk with the little pocket money he had. he felt thirsty after not drinking water for so long and adding that he is constantly smoking it made sense for him to crave a non-drug infused liquid. 

 

 

 

 

 

Mark greeted jeongin when he arrived at the apartment. Mark's message said to just walk in but jeongin thought it was a little mannerless so he knocked anyways. 

" jeongin! " entering the apartment he noticed two things. One, jaebum was probably the guy who had the weird mullet and had a dark expression on his face, and two jeongin swears he remembered coming here once. The kitchen that was right next to the living room seem all familiar to him but couldn't place why. Mark wrapped an arm around jeongin to give a small hug before returning to the empty spot that was left next to jaebum. Humming jeongin plopped himself next to minho. He was nice enough to offer him a new joint which jeongin accepted since it looked pretty good then he could ever do. 

Pretty soon he could hear everything clearly enough. The room was dark since no one bothered to turn on the lights but the tv was still on, viewing some american show. Jeongin guessed as games of thrones from what he caught while staring blankly at the lit screen. There were a lot of blood and dudes in armor so he would've guessed it right. 

" hey, can you pass me that ? " Minho reached over where most of the snacks and drinks were, apart from the table they rolled the joints at— he grabbed a slice and passed it back to jeongin. 

Giggling, jeongin thanked him and leaned back, the pizza was left hanging in the air after he took a pretty large first bite. chewing the pieces a little to aggressively, the kissing noises were getting louder and louder. It's not his place to say but it was really getting on his nerves. The sounds have been continuing ever since he smoked his second joint and he already looked back to see and it was mark and his drug dealer collage boyfriend. Jeongin closed his eyes, doing what he did last time to block out ryo but this time trying to concentrate on eating.

" dude! you actually came? " The kissing stopped after hearing mark's voice enter his head. jeongin opened them to take another bite but stopped mid air when his eyes slowly adjusted to the lighting. That was a bad idea when he made eye contact with what seems to be the dude mark was greeting. 

" chan hyung! how are you here " there was no weight to words since jeongin said it in a very playful tone, adding a small giggle at the end. 

jeongin reached out when he saw chan walking closer and closer to where he was seated. 

" hehe " jeongin felt a thrill of rush when chan grabbed his hand and pulled him up from the couch. It was probably from the touch of chan's hands since it seemed cold making jeongin's warm. 

Though the realization came back to jeongin after standing straight, his pizza abandoned on the table. Chan said something to mark in english and turned back to jeongin. jeongin felt a little self conscious when he noticed chan taking a sweep over his body as if checking for something. 

" come with me " The last time chan pulled him to a secluded area, jeongin was sober and had a mind to think with so he could try to get away but since jeongin was full on buzzed he obliged when chan pulled him into a room, closing the door so it's quiet.

" hehe, are you gonna do something naughty hyung? " jeongin rolled his eyes back, flopping onto the bed that looked very inviting. At the time he thought his remark was very funny, letting out puffs of small laughs. 

" do you want me to ask again ? " jeongin eyebrows furrowed. " uh , why are you here? " 

chan shook his head.

" im supposed to ask that "

jeongin looked more confused, the words that were tryin to form in his head was just turning into jumbles.

" unless.. you're chuchu dicks i don't think you're supposed to be here "

Chan stayed quiet probably confused about the ' chuchu dicks' part .

" you do realize im friend's with everyone here. So that's why i should ask why are YOU here ? " Chan emphasize  on the ' you ' made a little burst of memory pop up. 

" i was invited " 

" are you saying you're friends with these people?  " jeongin got up. 

" what's your problem chan? " forgetting the honorific was on purpose. It was arrogant of jeongin but he was getting annoyed. 

" jeongin.. if you're acting out because of hyunjin, just stop. It isn't helping and i just don't understand why you're always at these.. these things! " 

 The room was silent. Jeongin was silently fuming. He can't believe chan would just go out of his way to ruin every possibility of his life. Can't he just ignore jeongin and do what ever he came here for. Probably to loosen up so it was pretty hypocritical for chan to not even mention that he was going to do drugs too despite being underage as jeongin is. 

" ok, first of all you have no business with me anyways because i was hyunjin's boyfriend or whatever and you're just his brother. " Chan crossed his arms, his face softening.

" and second- hyunjin broke up with me okay? we're done so that means you shouldn't be even talking to me in the first place because we were never friends " It was weird to hear himself being so sensible with his speech even if he smoked a couple of joints already. 

chan tried to say something but decided against it. Seeing how chan looked speechless jeongin glared at the older boy and angrily opening the door. 

" just fuck off " jeongin didn't close the door, leaving it open so chan could see him walk out on him once again. This time chan didn't follow him so jeongin went back to the couch. Minho was gone from his spot and so was mark, leaving some people looking like they're passed out on the couch. Not feeling in the mood anymore he grabbed his abandon piece of pizza and a few extras since he was also famished.

" bye mark, thanks for the invite " He called out to mark who waved back. 

" no problem lil dude! " mark was a cool senior. jeongin appreciated the kindness people showed to him throughout the times he been with them. It was nice to know at least these people made him feel better then the ones that actually knows him well. 

Sighing he waited at the bus stop. Munching on his last piece of pizza. His mind wandering back to chan. It was very weird to see him again after the small kiss they shared yesterday. seeing how close the two days were was surprising. Chan of course acted like nothing happened and decided to scold jeongin again when he himself is underage planning to also do drugs. Very hypocritical. The bus arrived. 

_another night, another day._

 

 

 

 

 

that morning, jeongin walked into the school not expecting anything new. He did his normal classes and worked quietly throughout the day until the lunch bell rang. Picking up the speed, he shoved his bag into his locker, grabbing his lunchbox he somehow managed to prepare in the morning. 

" Jeongin! " The voice rang in his head like a distance memory. The panic settled in when he realized Hyunjin was actually calling him. 

" chan told me " jeongin still didn't turn around, he picked up his paced and tried to walk faster then hyunjin running. His peers were giving him weird looks but jeongin ignored them

Jeongin thought he finally lost hyunjin when he turned around the corner, running towards the door that leads to the school's roof but hyunjin forcefully grabbed him, the collar of his uniform almost choking him. 

" hyun- " Hyunjin slammed him against the lockers, the sound echoing through the hallway, a few students stopped to look at the commotion they were making. 

" You're hurting me! " No tears threatened to spill yet but jeongin was scared. The look on hyunjin's face could make him whimper. Jeongin never seen hyunjin this mad, and he would never want to see it ever again. He could hear the sound of people crowding around and more walking pass. 

" are you doing this to get attention!? " Jeongin was let back down but hyunjin was still hovering over him, his arms cornering jeongin so he has no way of escape. 

" what are you talking about? " Jeongin didn't look straight into hyunjin's eyes, too nervous on what's going to happen.  hyunjin saying something but his mind was being too fuzzy to tell. 

" drugs? drinking? what are you trying to do! " jeongin whimpered. Hyujin voice was harsh and he got straiht to the point. 

" calm down, babe " Jeongin could see seungmin behind hyunjin trying to pull him off of jeongin but hyunjin didn't budge. The babe seungmin muttered would be another problem he'll remember later but for now it's hyunjin, whos face was coming closer and closer.

" p-please stop " Jeongin couldn't fight against hyunjin, he couldn't throw any insults or things to piss off hyunjin as he picked the habit of not doing anything when he was with hyunjin. It's not like they had an unhealthy relationship it was just the the nature and personality jeongin developed before all the partying and drugs. Chan may have pissed him off to a degree he can retort things back but for hyunjin they had a stronger bond. from being childhood friends to boyfriends and to ex lovers. What made jeongin run away with his lunchbox that's now abandon when he dropped it out of fear? Maybe it's the thought of facing his first heartbreak again and again. 

" Tell me jeongin! you have my attention so stop doing all these foolish things! you're being immature." it's funny how a simple word can be easily transformed into a trigger word. 

if you asked jeongin who started the fight, it was probably jeongin who punched hyunjin's face first. This time jeongin knew exactly why he did it and didn't really regret ruining the beautiful face hyunjin had. Purple blossoming on his pale skin. even with all that damage jeongin managed to get through, he didn't leave the fight with no markings either. At one point jeongin had to look through the tears that were spilling. He was embarrassed since now the whole school probably heard their fight since hyunjin wasn't being quiet about it all. Jeongin was seeing red. maybe it was his blood or maybe it was hyunjin's either way jeongin got a bruised cheek and a spilt lip. students who were actually trying to help, pulled back jeongin only for hyunjin to punch him again. 

Hyunjin over powered jeongin, kicking him in the stomach without realizing making jeongin fall over in pain. He could hear hyunjin's panicked voice, shaking jeongin's frail body as if he was dying. Jeongin scoffed, spiting the blood that was stuck in his mouth. It was pathetic how hyunjin was in a trance when he decided to fight back but now he acted like someone else made jeongin groan in pain, clutching his waist as if he got shot. 

" fuck you hyunjin " Then it was pitch black. 

 

 

 

 

 

Jeongin woke up in the infirmary. No one was with him when he woke up and it was fine. The memory of the fight was still vivid on his mind. Jeongin stared at the curtains surrounding the bed. The white in the room was slowly making him regain conscious. The clock in the room was helpful seeing how it was the end of the day and only an hour after the last bell rang.

" what a fantastic day i had " Jeongin picked himself up, groaning when he felt the sting of moving his arm. " fucker " Jeongin shrugged off the pain, grabbing his lunchbox that was sitting on the bedside table along with a small note. thinking it was probably ryo being the nice friend he was when he watched the fight, he would've recognized jeongin's lunch box whenever would take the time to eat lunch with jeongin. 

" not bad ' Jeongin packed a ham sandwich. It was very good despite what it has been through. 

Sighing jeongin brushed his hair back, the bandage slightly brushing over his hand.

 

 _" drugs? drinking? what are you trying to do! "_ Hyunjin's voice was circling jeongin mind. He grabbed a melon bar and gave it to the cashier. 

" That'll be $2.67 " jeongin handed him his coins and left. Finding a seat outside, he watched a group of friends laughing together pass by. It was the end of the day and the sun was slowly making it ways down. Jeongin was the one to stay out late as possible which was what inspired him to use the coins he found in his backpack on a melon icecream bar. 

His tears fell, hitting the pavement— the grey turning into a darker shade. It was pathetic on how the words took a huge play in jeongin's emotion because deep down jeongin knew hyunjin was right. He didn't do anything for attention really but deep down it was just for something to happen. experimentng many people will call it.  _nice going jeongin ._

he hugged himself tighter after finishing the icecream bar. It was probably late already seeing how the streets were not isolated, the streetlamp illuminated the cars passing by. 

but jeongin didn't want to go home. He wanted to be in someones arms, to be cuddled. to wake up feeling the warmth of love and affection someone could give you. Luckily, it was friday. Which meant he could spend his whole night moping around the streets without worrying about school.  _What a great plan_  

 

 

 

 

 

Waking up about five times a day wasn't the most greatest habit but he did wake up when he flet someone tapping his shoulder. 

" hey kid, wake up " The voice was unfamiliar but jeongin looked up anyways. It was the cashier who got jeongin's order. His night shift was probably over and was about to head home when saw someone sleeping on the tables outside of a store. 

" what time is it? " jeongin groaned, his back pains are coming back. 

" 5 in the morning, you gotta go home " Jeongin offered a small smile, thanking the stranger for waking him up. The guy gave jeongin a side glance when he stretched as if waking up outside at 5am was a normal thing. Jeongin ignored it and got up heading the direction where his neighbourhood was located. Seeing how he walked empty handed with no backpack or phone since he quickly threw them all in his front yard when he passed by—it quickly occurred to jeongin that he looked like a crackhead roaming the streets. Again. 

sighing, he brushed his hands through his hair, humming a small song he remembered from his dreams. Kinda ironic how it was this is home by cavetown. 

His mind went back to the idea of his life being documented. It was amusing to jeongin knowing there would be way too many jump cuts to be interesting. 

_' are you tired of me yet? im a lil sick right now but i swear.. '_

 

 

 

  

 

  

jeongin was back at another party hosted by yours truly. 

and everything about chan was testing jeongin's patience. From the way chan's face lit up when he spotted jeongin sitting in the kitchen peacefully to the sheepish smile chan had on his fae while making a drink. 

" you got your braces off? " was the first thing chan said once getting a seat next to jeongin. 

Jeongin hummed as a agreement. His mind was occupied when he noticed chan was wearing one of those 'imagine outfits' he sees on instagram. The shirt showing more skin then jeongin was used too. a nice thought was that jeongin could slip his hand straight into the opening. 

" did you need something? " Jeongin had a slight tinge of annoyance in his voice. Last time he checked, they weren't on speaking terms since chan thought it was a great idea to tell hyunjin about who knows what. 

chan looked taken back. " yes actually.. i wanted to apologize " Jeongin took a long sip from his cup, staring at chan while doing so. The loud slurping noise was on purpose. 

" —about like the things i said from the arguments we had? and for not stopping hyunjin when he started the fight.. " jeongin let out a scoff. Of course he'll be there, watching jeongin being beat up by his ex boyfriend. Sounded very aggressive but that was it is. 

".. but like i did stop by to check on you and drop the lunchbox you lost and the bruises looked pretty bad " 

chan was avoiding jeongin's gaze when he was apologizing but took a small glance at the purple bruise jeongin was sporting. Chan wasn't lying when he it looked bad,  it made jeongin's face half purple. Having to add it was very noticeable, he couldn't ignore when the cashier didn't bother to hide his interest when he saw the purple thing on his cheek. Thinking about it now, the bruise was probably the reason why his dad decided to let him buy the hair dye after the braces. It was almost like a small ' get better ' gift. Or just plain pity. 

" it's fine, pretty sure hyunjin got it worse " Chan laughed softly. 

" — hyunjin was grounded anyways when i explained what happened " Jeongin wasn't that mad over the fight anymore, he did have some mixed feelings for hyunjin but after this conversation with chan he'll be ready to let hyunjin go after all, hyunjin seemed to already have 

jeongin couldn't help but mutter " piece of shit " under his breath. If chan heard he didn't comment on it. 

The silence enveloped them for the next few minutes. Chan slightly bopping is head to the music playing and jeongin deep in thought. It was weird how calm they were, since every time they did meet at parties specifically , chan always had something to say. 

" so.. you dyed your hair ? "  jeongin nodded, his attention went to chan's shoes. They were those black boots that had a very edgy vibe; jeongin thought it looked nice.  He rolled his eyes when chan ran his hand through his hair, fanning his face as if it wasn't 30 degrees in the house. " is it hot in here or- " 

" can i kiss you? " Jeongin says, a playful grin adorning his face. It wasn't the same with chan however, he looked rather panicked.

" how many cups you dranken? or even better, did you smoke? " Chan didn't seem half as mad as before but more of a ' you're joking right? ' kinda tone. 

Jeongin pouted. He thinking jeongin was drunk was a complete turn off, he thought it was the perfect moment to kiss since they seemed like they were on good terms.. and that their conversation was slowly dying anyways, why not spice up a nice for a little friendly makeout session? at least that's what jeongin planned in his drunk mind while staring intently at chan's lips; ignoring whatever he actually said.

" hyungg, just finish what you started! " it was at this moment, chan realized. Jeongin was being 100% serious. Which turned chan into a spluttering mess, saying some random thigns in english jeognin couldn't catch. 

" actually, if youre not gonna do it, i bet someone else will " with that jeongin left his seat, turning away from chan very dramatically. For a second there, chan's mind was a mess. Even if jeongin didn't know it chan realized a long time ago that he had a soft spot for the younger, maybe it was because jeongin was just a lovable person. 

" OK! wait. " Jeongin grinned wickedly. Chan couldn't see the huge smirk on jeongin's face since he was already half way out of the kitchen but jeongin did make it obvious when he came sprinting back. 

Just like a cat, he perched his hands in front of his seat so he's leaning in without doing much. 

" i'm waiting! " Jeongin singsonged, his eyes sparkled when he saw chan actually leaning in. 

There were some big consequences on the line. One chan could kiss him and have his inner-self leave him or two have his soul leave him for missing this opportunity. Turns out jeongin wasn't the only one who didn't want to waste such a good opportunity. 

" ok, im going to do it. " The blonde swallowed. But that's also when he begins to stall. again. Jeongin had already closed his eyes so when he only heard the faded music in his ears his first thought was that chan was stalling. Sighing but not letting his grin drop he cups chan's 

" don't sue me for sexual harassment then! " not letting chan mutter a single yes, jeongin watched as chan's eyes somehow getting bigger and smashed their lips together more aggressive then jeongin planned. 

and then the whole fantasy of ditzy alcohol suddenly turned off in jeongin's head and made him instantly rethink what he actually felt. It was gross to say the least. Chan did open his mouth, almost like on instinct but it felt like felix's kisses except; it's even worse. Ok maybe chan isn't that perfect but it's impossible for chan to be a complete virgin at the simplest things. Jeongin probably had better experience and that's saying a lot. 

" oomfh " jeongin made a weird noise which took chan by a surprise thinking he was suffocating or something. They quickly parted which was weird since jeongin didn't even realize they were somewhat initiating a kiss in the first place. 

" sorry.." chan awkwardly trailed off watching jeongin not even hiding his disgust and wiping the extensive amount of saliva that glossed his lips. 

" no offence channie but you're a really bad kisser " jeongin says. The honorific were brushed aside.

" im really sorry. uhm you wanna try again? " They both stared at each other for a moment. One regretting the suggestion that came out of his mouth and one in a gay panic. Not so much gay since it's not like a bro thing to kiss each other unless chan really was that straight. That whole sentence didn't make sense to jeongin but it was fine since chan was the one who leaned in this time. 

and so they kissed. again. 

" ya know hyung, why were you so nervous earlier " They stopped kissing a while ago when jeongin whined that his lips were starting to hurt. Chan agreed since he didn't want to hurt the younger but was also apologizing when he saw jeongin's swollen lips. To chan's defence, the making out or whatever you would call it was pleasuring especially when chan was actually responding normally. 

chan shrugged, feeling more relaxed after knowing the kissing thing was on a mutual agreement. " because i never thought of you in that way i guess? " 

jeongin frowned. Spinning around in his chair to get rid of the anxiousness forming in his stomach again. He was too sober to spark up a conversation. The nervousness reminded him of the times when he would see chan lingering around when he and hyunjin were hanging out though it wasn't a valid reason to be nervous since it was chan's house too. 

" do you have different feelings now or is this a one time thing.. " 

Jeongin's chair spun back to face chan but was only to greet an empty seat. How long was jeongin thinking for? was it long enough to make feel chan bored and revert back to conciousness to realize this was a huge mistake and was going to pretend this never happened or was jeongin just overthinking again. Jeongin found it weird that their relationship will get better from here since now they have kissed, not once but twice and one longer then needed and they both hinted at a possibility of liking one and other though on jeongin side it was more obvious. Jeongin shudders of the memory that should never resurface again. 

drumming his fingers against the marble counter he sighs when a few minutes pass, no sign of chan. Jeongin felt disappointed since chan most likely didn't hear his last sentence and he was really hoping for an answer. 

he'll ask tomorrow is what jeongin said to himself. 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. oh boy oh boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeongin can't recall how many days it been since the time they met on the football field. he thinks it's only days but he's probably wrong.
> 
>  
> 
> ( when i went to change the date so i can post this it legit said june 3 ... i suck its literally july 5 now bruhhh)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think it would make me feel better if somebody told me jeongin and chan aren't like this at all and the way i wrote their relationship and bond sucks ass.
> 
> also i wonder if ao3 emails people who are subscribed to this (shocker i know im surprised too)  
> when i edit stuff and repost it or is it only when i post a new chap??  
> (heh that was edited in but whteva :))))

A blank slate. Is what jeongin would call it. Nothing there and yet he has an urge to fill it up with drawings of chan. Memories. 

Sounds like a thought he would have while being high. Jeongin begins to turn off the rushing water, the cold hits him after a while of standing still. 

but he wasn't high.

It begins to seep into his mind when he flops onto his bed, his towel still wet from his hair was laying on the ground and jeongin was just staring at it. He had tons of homework to do after neglecting them for over a week or so. They weren't due— or maybe they were due last week but jeongin didn't mind missing a few for now. All he could think of was chan. oh chan channie, chan, dear old chan. 

So that's why jeongin picked up his phone from his desk and dialled a number that wasn't used since the time he felt depressed and sat around uselessly at the football field. 

The number rang once. and twice. 

Chan finally picked up at the third ring. 

" hey whats up? " Jeongin mocked chan's causal greeting in his head.

As if he didn't ignore jeongin for a whole week—Snapping his head the other way so quickly whenever he saw jeongin turn a direction thats even close to him. Or maybe chan was just super late for his class so thats why he had to almost snap his head almost four times but then again jeongin swears he was not stalking chan on his free periods when he sees him literally skipping classes, hanging out with his dumb bros or whatever. 

Jeongin didn't realize he wasn't talking for a whole minute until he heard chan's voice breaking him out of it. 

" jeongin? "

" uh- oh yea, can we meet up at the p-park? " That was unplanned and stupid. Jeongin didn't actually have a plan when he picked up the phone. It started off with a ' lets confront chan being the alpha male he is and fight at midnight ' to a a stuttering mess. 

" .. yea sure " Chan sounded unsure like he had something other to do then meet up and figh- to meet up but he agreed anyways which made jeongin let out a relieved sigh. 

" ok.. so yea " an awkward silence before jeongin abruptly ended the call, a small squeak was probably the last thing chan heard. 

and for a second jeongin's first thought was go into panic mode because like the thing he stated before, he didn't have anything to say when they meet up and confessing wasn't an option. It could be an option but jeongin really wasn't ready.. 

" FUCK " jeongin should really stop doing drugs because the drugs were probably the ones making him do all these erratic decisions. 

His phone signalled a text message. 

 **8:37 PM, Chan:** im here

jeongin was in the middle of trashing his whole closet to find a sweater that wasn't dirty and it wasn't helping his panic mode when the text arrived. Now he felt bad since chan is probably waiting out in the cold for a stupid phone call. 

 **8:38 PM, jeongin:** hyung im sorry im running late

 **8:38 PM, jeongin:** give me a minute !!

jeongin didn't get to check if chan had seen the text before bolting out the front door with his lil pink sweater thrown over his head and matching pink flip fops he had lying around the front door for some reason. Not to mention his shorts that he was already wearing showing off his lanky legs. 

Riding a bike with flip flops was hard but he didn't want to make chan wait longer with his useless thoughts that were still in his head while steering. One almost making him topple over a car that was parked in front of the park. 

" Chan hyung ! " chan tilted his head to the side, probably questioning why was a pink headed fool was running full speed at him. 

" Oh! sorry. uhh- " jeongin was stilling trying to catch his breath since biking here was like running here. The park wasn't the closest thing to his house. Bracing himself on his knees jeongin was still letting out strangled breaths, too occupied to notice chan soothing his back by patting it . 

" calm down jeongin, its ok. " That was when jeongin looked up from his knee level to notice chan looking godly in his clothing. Chan wore a brown-ish turtle neck with a green sweater, the ripped jeans adding to jeongin's daydreaming material. oh shit. Compared to chan, jeongin looked like a homeless person on crack. Jeongin's cheeks didn't waste time turning a pink shade. 

" you okay now? " Jeongin slowly nodded, too embarrassed to look at chan now being fully aware of what he looked like. so he waited a couple of minutes to get his courage up again and sit beside chan on the bench he was waiting on. 

No words were said yet, chan being quiet as a mouse. The two both looking straight ahead. 

" uh.. where have you been looking so nice? ha.. ha " Jeongin cringed at himself. Chan also looked like he was about to vomit but chan broke out into a reassuring smile getting jeongin to let out the breath he didn't know he was holding in.

" oh i should thank you for calling! i was on a date my mom arranged, " Jeongin sagged a little in his seat. A date? then the next thing jeongin planned to say would be too awkward wouldn't it?

" i feel bad for even saying it but the girl was boring me to death and you calling gave me an excuse " on second thought.. jeongin straighten his posture again. 

" so im just gonna tell you really straightforward.. but don't hate me! " Jeongin made up his mind. He had to anyways, sooner or later so why not now?

" why would i hate you? " chan smiled, melting jeongin's heart when he made eye contact with the elder. 

" ireallylikeyoubutit'sokayifyoudon'tlikemback " Chan smile dropped so fast jeongin thought he said the wrong thing and instead of confessing he probably said something stupid like  repeating all of the korean swear words he searched up while procrastinating on his history. 

" Don't make me repeat myself! " jeongin stood up so quickly he almost fell over. surprisingly he still stood in his spot but He nervously watched chan who was still in thought. 

" you like me? " chan said after a while.  Jeongin nodded, his hair flopping over his eyes from dropping his head so low. He was met with silence again. And he hated it.

Every single time jeongin gets imitate with chan he'll always make jeongin more nervous then he has to be. The unreadable expression and stiff posture screams like a big fat rejection but jeongin read too many romance novels to know that he should wait for a verbal answer. Even with the small laughter jeongin tries to force to make it more lighthearted—jeongin couldn't stop thinking about how he couldn't live without chan. Seems dramatic, but he really doesn't know what to do if this doesn't work out. 

" jeongin.. " Here it comes. the rejection that may wound his heart forever, making him love no one else. 

" hyung, please " jeongin didn't even hear himself whispering but he takes a small breath in before containing. 

" i-im not high or anything im just.. i really like you okay? i know i might seem really reckless or maybe it's my age you're worrying about but i swear my feelings aren't just because of hyunjin or me figuring myself out."

Jeongin could hear his voice straining by the second. Chan stares at the ground not meeting his eyes.

" hyung? please just— anything ? " Jeongin fiddles with his fingers, the cold finally getting to him when he feels the warm tears staining his cheeks. 

" shh.. don't cry baby. my answer is yes.. " Chan seemed almost lost; wiping the tears from jeongin's small face, inching closer to give jeongin the warmth he desperately pleaded for.

" ok? " Jeongin hiccuped, he's full on sobbing now but he doesn't know why. Chan went straight to wrap his arms around the younger, soothing jeongin by running his hand through jeongin's dyed hair. They stayed like that for who knows how long but jeongin didn't want it to ever stop. 

" ok " was the simple answer he wanted from the start. An answer so easy to say and yet can hold someones heart and soul. 

Later on chan drives both of them back to his house on jeongin's request. Chan could never say no to a tired jeongin; seeing how jeongin eyes were on the verge of snapping shut, having chan to squeeze the younger's hand that was in his hold to gently wake him up.  The younger tiredly rubbed his eyes like a literal baby muttering some jumbled words. Chan felt a small pang in his heart when he noticed jeongin's eyes were still red— probably from crying too hard. The guilt washing over him again 

Unlike the last time this happened, chan had to be quiet since hyunjin was probably in his room wide awake and assuming it will probably be awkward to see your brother carrying your ex-boyfriend up to his room, chan hated the thought of even hyunjin see them like this. But then again there was always the morning where he had to sneak jeongin back out. 

Jeongin whining when chan had to let go of him just to set him down on his bed was enough to convince chan to throw all of his worries out the window and cuddle with him. The sensible side of chan's brain convinced him to settle jeongin down first and change since his jeans and hot sweater aren't the best things to wear while sleeping.

" hyungg.. don't leave.. " Chan chuckled wanting to coo at his cuteness. 

" i'm just going to change " Jeongin pouted but he let go of chan allowing him to move. 

Chan grabbed more comfortable clothes and rushed to the bathroom to change. He turned off the light before snuggling under the cover with jeongin. 

" hyung. " Jeongin's said, his voice cutting through the silence of chan's room. 

" hm? " chan was super tired , he was half asleep before the younger called him . He hadn't had a full night sleep since last week and with all of the writing he had managed to get down; it was taking up too much of his sleep. 

" thank you " Chan didn't know what jeongin was thanking him for but he was endeared by the shyness evident in jeongin's small voice and so he kissed the top of jeongin's head— hugging jeongin tighter from the spooning position they were in. 

Jeongin fell silent after that so they both fell deep into slumber. Not really knowing what was going to happen in the next few weeks.  

 

 

 

 

 

The next morning jeongin left in a rush. The sun was barely up, the dark sky reminding him that he was still in chan's room but he could tell it was 6 by the time on chan's phone that kept on lighting up. 

at first jeongin tried to get chan up with a little whisper but chan didn't budge. Sighing jeongin slowly removed himself from chan's arms that were wrapped around his waist. 

Standing up made his mind go back to it's usual speed. The memories from last night resurfacing again.at first jeongin doubted the morning will be this peaceful but maybe it wasn't a mistake that chan happened to return jeongin's feelings but he even found it suspicious on how quickly it was to get chan all loving and agreeing. 

jeongin glanced at chan admiring his relaxed features before a loud voice grabbed his attention.

" HYUNG! CHAN HYUNG! " 

oh shit. hyunjin lived in the same house and in any minute now he's going to barge into the room and it would be very awkward to explain why he was in the house in the first place. remembering that the last time they saw each other they were at each others throat and not in a good way— and to meet hyunjin after him brutally kicking him in the stomach along with the bruises he got wasn't the best of times. Of course if he hasn't already seen the strange pink flip flops just lounging around the front door jeongin may have a chance of escaping unscathed without the embarrassment. It takes a quick second for jeongin to spring into action;  hiding behind the door was the best and probably safest unless hyunjin decides to bust down the door like he's the FBI.

" Hyung! you forget to lock the door last night and seungmin ruined my sleep again! do you know how many tim— "  on second thought, this was the worst spot to be hiding and it only occurred to him when hyunjin turned around to probably leave seeing how chan was dead asleep but instead finds jeongin staring back with wide eyes. Jeongin wanted to laugh in hyunjin's face was his first thought. after not seeing him for days jeongin couldn't actually remember, since the incident it was funny to see the recovering bruise that was apparent on hyunjin's face. a thought of matching bruises on both of their faces made jeongin's lips perk up a bit. 

Despite the things they been through, the two didn't have an urge to punch each other again though hyunjin might as well since he is finding jeongin in his brothers room.. hiding. 

" so.. what are you doing? " hyunjin made awkward hand gestures, his face twisted in discomfort. 

" i'm just gonna.. go? " hyunjin scratched the back of neck offering jeongin a smile that screams ' you should '. 

jeongin left with his pink flip flops in shame. Talk about embarrassing  

 

 

 

 

 

 

jeongin impatiently taps his pen against his notebook. Ever so glancing at chan who was across the field talking to some of his friends. Another week passed since the awkward encounter with hyunjin in his own house and jeongin still wishes to forget about it. He knows hyunjin hasn't. Jeongin has gotten so used to recognizing the back of hyunjin's head at certain angles he could always tell when it was hyunjin who was staring holes into the back of his neck whenever he turns around to check. 

back to jeongin's ongoing crisis he takes his last huff and quickly shoves his vape into his pocket when he sees chan walking towards his direction. 

he acts like he was studying which he really wasn’t but tried his best to put all of his focus on the paper that was in front of him. 

" hey " chan leans in for a small kiss which jeongin, maybe too eagerly accepted the peck unconsciously. 

" you wanna go somewhere after this? " chan says, still standing in one spot. jeongin frowned.

 _yes._ is what jeongin wanted to say but he was still a little irritated over the fact that it has become a hobby for chan to act like everything is normal after ignoring it in the first place.

" why did you ignore me for a week? " chan sighs like he was expecting the question. it confuses jeongin so much. To a point where jeongin is the one who wants to ignore chan for a whole week just to bathe in the glory of not worrying about wether chan has changed his mind. It doesn't help when jeongin tries his best to ignore the pretty much bored expression chan had while he was walking over to jeongin— not like the light smile when he was out in the field. 

" i was busy " jeongin hums; he didn't believe it one bit. he thinks over the suggestion before packing up his stuff. 

" you in? " jeongin silently zips up his bad before slipping his hand into chan's larger one. 

" lets go " Jeongin smiled at chan while chan looked back with a unreadable expression. After that jeongin refuses to meet his eyes again, and chan let go of his hand when they reached his car. 

 

 

 

 

" are you okay? " Chan asks him after they get their ice creams. Jeongin wanted to sit inside the shop but chan wanted to sit outside to feel the cool breeze. Of course jeongin followed chan outside without thinking but he sat down quietly acting more somber then when he was quietly jamming to the radio in chan's car. 

" yea, why ask? " Chan perked up at the sudden burst of energy jeongin had, his elbows resting on top of the table along with his chin propped against his hands made him look adorable without even trying.

" you were acting off.. but im guessing im probably the reason why. " jeongin wasn't expecting that but he knew chan would continue so he stayed quiet. " i just wanted to say sorry. one of my mates were being a complete douche and it set me off in a bad mood " an unintelligible ' oh ' fell out of jeongin's mouth. He did feel 100x better know at least knowing chan didn't hate him at all.  

" how's school? " chan shifts in his seat. " we go to the same school dummy " Jeongin says. 

chan hums but gives jeongin a smile. They talk about a lot of things after that. Jeongin's ice-cream was melting but he couldn't hide his excitement when chan kept on laughing at the tiny jokes jeongin slipped in hoping it worked. and it did but he didn't care when chan almost died from choking on his ice-cream. They finished soon after, leaving the shop with their hands intertwining. Jeongin didn't want to go home so soon so when chan kissed him a goodbye he held onto chan, hugging him tightly. 

" can you pleaseee stay today? " jeongin looked up at chan's face an angle that'll break his neck one day but seemed cute when the elder looked down at the pouting face. 

" i don't know jeongin.. i have so much unfinished work lounging on my bed right now " chan chuckled. his hand running through jeongin's dyed hair. 

" just for one night. Please? "  feeling bashful for being too hopeful jeongin unwrapped his arms from chan and turned away, his shoulders dropping like a puppy getting kicked into oblivion. 

" goodnight then, see you tomorrow? " his tone making it seem like a question since he really wouldn't know if chan will ignore him again because of his moody swings. 

" yea. " chan stood there until jeongin closed his door. chan's smile slipped away like it was never there. He felt tired and gross. 

 

 

 

Don't get chan wrong. He did text jeongin but only when he was in the comfort of his own bed. He didn't lie either when he said he had a bunch of homework to do but was severely procrastinating on them because of all of the bothering distractions filling up his mind. 

" hyung? " his little brother's head peaked through the door. Chan looks up to find hyunjin nervously playing with his hands. 

" is jeongin doing ok? " chan made a surprised noise. knowing hyunjin, something had happened. Hyunjin has been ignoring and probably wishing jeongin didn't exist ever since he placed a fist on jeongin's face. At the time chan did his best trying to convince hyunjin to apologize and clear up all of the bad air between the two but he didn't budge, always trying to change the topic. Chan lost hope of fixing the childhood friends friendship and just left it at that. He didn't even think twice when he told hyunjin about his suspicion with jeongin's acting out behaviour but in the present he deeply regretted doing so.  

" yea why ask? " a memory of jeongin happily talking with very expressive hand motions entered his mind making his heart ache a little. 

" uhm well you see? i saw him and i just— why was he in your room? " they both knew the answer to the question but hyunjin a guy with the need of comfort was the one to ask about the elephant in the room. 

" we're on close terms " chan left it at that and hyujin got the cue when he left closing the door with a sound making chan wince. 

chan grabs his phone and opens to his messages. 

 **3:34 PM,**   **kenzie :** meanie u left me on read yesterday :((

 **5:47 PM, woojin :** you okay? can we please talk about it? please chan

 **6:12 PM, minho :** party tomorrow u better come or ill cut your dick off 

 **6:15 PM, minho :** jisung is gonna b there and i need emotinal supprot hobo

out of all of his unread messages he decides to text jeongin back. 

 ** **8:56 PM, jeongin :**** goodnight !! u better sleep chan ! dont overwork yourself >:( 

 **9:27 PM, chan :** good night 

on the other side of the chat, jeongin's phone was lounging messily on his stomach. he was going to wait for chan's reply but he fell asleep before he could see the message. 

 

 

 

  

Jeongin felt irritated.  jittery almost. Making him want to punch anybody that looked relatively happy kind of a feeling. He even went as far as snapping at a student when all they asked was to pick up the pencil they dropped. That didn't help anything either when the whole class turned to stare at the moody boy seeing how jeongin never spoke up, only when he had to and that is almost never. One thing is for sure is that jeongin  _really_ wanted a quick nicotine fix before he does something more stupid then have a craving for drugs which usually leads to addiction. jeongin swears he doesn't have one . when the bell rang jeongin didn't move an inch. All he did was angrily taking his phone hidden in his books and quickly texted mark. 

 **3:38 PM, Jeongin:** yo can u call? 

 **3:39 PM, Mark tuan:** yea y ?

jeongin was all out of juice for his vapes and the only way to get it is either at a party or someone to get it for him. he called mark to ask him to by more. mark was a nice guy so he bought jeongin all the jucie he wanted. 

" hey hyung, you busy? " jeongin shoved his papers inside his bag, the phone on speaker. 

" yup " Jeongin quietly shuffled out the classroom passing by the lockers 

" can you buy me more juice? " They both know what juice meant and it wasn't apple juice that you could just buy at a local market. 

" i hope you're talking about apple juice jeongin " mark tries to say in a stern tone but a giggle was heard at the end.. 

" hyuung, can you buy me more or not? " Mark gasped like he was faking it, probably was though. 

" woahh there bud, i thought you said they were for your non-minor friend " jeongin sat down on a bench that he is way to familar with. 

" okayyy.. so i lied but you didn't answer my question, can you buy it or not hyung " jeongin was getting antsy. Mark could easily tell jeongin was annoyed just by the way jeongin's voice raise each time mark rejects his offer. 

mark didn't say anything but jeongin could hear a lot of background noise. " please just this onetime " at this point jeongin was really begging. that is not a good sign if you're begging for someone to buy you drugs almost. 

" sorry no can do kiddo "mark said, a new slurping sound came from the speaker on which jeongin thought thought was very annoying. 

" you allow me to parties though! " 

another slurp was heard. jeongin wanted to piss in his drink.

 " yeaaa but jaebum said i should really stop giving minors drugs before i get into thrown into jail and since he's a lil cutie pie i can't give you anymore sorry dudeee " 

groaning jeongin wanted to throw his phone across the field. " fuck jaebum ! " He didn't realize he said it out-loud before mark let out an offended gasp that's real now. 

" hey! lil youngster i understand you're starting to get cravings but drugs really are bad for you, being the good adult jaebum wants me to be i ca- " 

 jeongin wishes mark could see him rolling his eyes. But hearing mark go on and on about jaebum and his stupid new rules to being a responsible adult made jeongin quickly pressed the end button and practically jumped off of the bench. During the call with mark he noticed a few notifications in his messages and assuming it was the hangout group-chat he'll probably get a better chance to get his nicfix at a party since who will stop him anyways. Plus Chan texted him this morning after his good morning text— that he was busy after school. Jeongin thought it was endearing for chan to let him know despite not having plans with jeongin the next day anyways. So seeing how jeongin is all set to go with no one stopping him, namely chan being upset with him for going to a party jeongin ran. 

he was right after all. jeongin actually didn't run in any particular direction just ran so he's closer to the bus stop. But he did check the group-chat and luckily for jeongin, there was one at a house right near the city. It was far away and usually jeongin is too lazy to go that far so he'll pass on the long trips but today was different. 

 

 

 

 

His plan that he made earlier was not going according to the plan which is not supposed to happen when you literally make a plan that's easy as getting a hundred on a kindergarten spelling test. His amazing plan was to walk in, grab a quick smoke and leave. Pretending that he didn't do anything at all was also part of the plan but just in case of missing the first few steps jeongin reminded himself not to plan ahead. jeongin should've trusted his inner-mind when he said not to plan ahead since he didn't really expect a   ' your boyfriend making out with a person thats not you, not forgetting the fact that he wasn't even supposed to be here in the first place since texting that he was busy didn't seem like going to a party, making out with people without telling your significant other kinda message' being predicted so that couldn't be added into the plan. 

" you okay dude ? "

Someone waved a hand in front of him seeing how zoned out the younger was they were probably afraid that he was too stoned for a minor resulting in some parents getting involved but jeongin just waved him off earning a scoff from the probably senior guy. The way his stomach dropped as if he was riding a rollercoaster was just making him lose all of the weird cravings he had earlier. Jeongin was going to call out for the elder since his first thought when he saw the blondie was to go to him of course maybe questioning why he was here in the first place with no heat really but once he realized chan wasn't alone, all of the words he wanted to say was stuck dying in his throat. He didn't want to say it plainly but it really was just that. Chan making out with another guy. It could be worse like swapping spit with a girl since it's no secret that chan was bisexual but he didn't have enough brain power to actually let the thought sit. 

Going back to the present jeongin is currently deciding on wether he should kill his brain cells from smoking too many blunts or maybe die of alcohol poisoning for consuming too many liquids. Both of the options sounds good to jeongin at the moment; a sight to see is jeongin draping himself over the couch completely wasted by drugs or alcohol ( he doesn't know) making many people glare at him for taking up the seat that is meant for two or more people. 

" kid, you're hogging the couch. Move! " jeongin frowned but slapped the guy's hand when he tried to push jeongin off himself. In the end he did move, leaving the couch along with the party. He's still in disbelief on how all he wanted was just to get high for maybe a minute or two but instead chan decides to ruin it all by lying . Jeongin is starting to hate the word cheating. 

in the dead silent of the night on the porch unlike any other party he left, this time he really did feel empty. Not the other times when he left feeling bored and not wanting to do anything in particular. Likewise people might think he's depressed but jeongin swears he's not. This was very anticlimactic, was jeongin's final thought. yes he was angry and maybe he still is but people should feel like crying or maybe even confronting their cheating girlfriend or boyfriend but jeongin didn't do anything of that.  maybe the feeling was mutual . jeongin didn't like chan that much and so he acted like everything was fine, rolling up another blunt. 

The other part of him thinks that it was stupid to even think everything was okay. Funny how everything goes wrong when he doesn't listen to his common sense, five days in counting he thinks or maybe less, jeongin can't count correctly when he's like this, thinking with his body mostly. That probably explains why he was walking to a house that haunts his dreams sometimes. The description makes it look like a horror house but it might as well be when all the people who he used to care for lives in it. you guessed it, hyunjin's house for now since chan is out getting laid or whatever he is doing .  Jeongin felt his anger bubble up again but he let himself calm down when he's in front of the door now. 

" jeongin? what happened? " Seeing hyunjin's face morph into worry was like a breaking point for jeongin. He didn't even notice the tears already running down his face so anyone could guess his surprise when hyunjin said no more and enveloped jeongin into a hug. Not the awkward ones you do when you meet aunts and uncles but the one where you have a strong bond that they just have an instinct to comfort you. Thats what jeongin felt. Deep down jeongin knew why he went to hyunjin's house; reminded him of the many times he cried in hyunjins arms even when they weren't dating. Unfortunately jeongin legs didn't turn into jelly when he cries so hard so they were just standing in the door hugging. Hyunjin tried to gently pull jeongin inside but jeongin just buried his face more not wanting to move. 

" jeongin.. lets go inside, you're shaking " when they finally reached hyunjin's room jeongin calmed down. His tears stopped but he was still sniffling. Hyunjin made him sit on the bed while hyunjin gets a glass of water for him. 

" you wanna tell me what happened ? " Two things flashed through his mind. The first thing was that they both ignored why jeongin was hiding in chans room and he hoped it stayed like that because he really hate to admit it now and the second on how he just wished they were friends again. Not awkward exes, but best friends that parents laugh at when they ask to hangout with the other. 

" not really.. " jeongin had a anxious look on his face, his fingers playing with the blanket hyunjin had, thrown into a messy pile. It made hyunjin think of a child getting scolded but something more sad was mixed in. 

" you wanna stay over for the night then? " Jeongin quietly nodded, moving over on hyunjin's bed to give some space for him to lay too. 

" is it your dad? " one thing jeongin knows is that hyunjin's the type of person to push the truth out one way or another. It's not a bad thing since hyunjin cares too much to know what happened but sometimes it ticks off jeongin to a point where he storms out of the room, ignoring the elder for days literally speaking from multiple experiences. 

jeongin sighs, feeling tired despite not doing anything. But when he takes a long breath in he realizes he smells heavily of weed which surprises jeongin once again since hyunjin didn't even mention a single thing about it. Memories of the fight dances around his head. 

" no.. our relationship is getting better now. " when jeongin didn't say anything further hyunjin let out a small sigh. 

" can i confess something then? " jeongin nodded; they were now laying down facing each other, both comfortable with the small distance between them on the bed. 

" i wanna become best friends again. i miss you innie. i miss hanging out with you and lately i been.. you know? hanging out with seungmin .. um a lot and he made me realized what i had done and i really am sorry. for lying and i bet you were hurt from it and you really deserve the truth. " 

post breakup jeongin would've yelled at hyunjin for being so distant and the lack of effort he was putting in but the present jeongin just wanted to hear the satisfactory apology, and the truth really. 

" i admit it, i wasn't feeling it. i swear i did love you because you're like my long lost brother or something but that was the problem, i loved you like a brother, my friend not romantically and maybe at that time i was only thinking for myself so i didn't even consider how you felt and so i'm very guilty over that but i didn't cheat on you or anything. i-i just hope we can put that in the past and resume like old times you know? " 

he hated it. he hated how before hyunjin said anything his answer would still be the same from the start. it's just all too simliar to what his response will be like if chan came running down, breaking his phone if he has to, just to explain. 

" i'm okay, and i miss our friendship too.. " hyunjin smiled softly, wrapping and arm around jeongin to pull him closer to his chest. " i hope you know that i'll support you and will always be there when you need help or just someone to talk to okay? " jeongin nodded into hyunjin's shoulder. 

" im sorry.. " hyunjin whispered, almost too quietly for jeongin to hear. He was half asleep but he knew hyunjin said something but stayed quiet. after all hyunjin probably thought he was asleep too. 

jeongin grew up as a lonely child, his mother leaving him once he was born so he couldn't remember anything about her really. His dad was heartbroken after that and so he was never the caring- warm hugs type. But when hyunjin approached him during one fateful recess peroid his life changed for the better. They started off rocky of course, jeongin not wanting to let the older shower him with affection but soon jeongin warmed up to hyunjin since he was a stubborn one not to give up; jeongin started to stay at hyunjin's house more then his own. which was fine since hyunjin's family always welcomed him into their home with open arms but even with that he couldn't feel the same comfort or easiness from anyone else other then hyunjin. Sounds like a bad kind of habit or obsession but he was pretty sure hyunjin didn't mind whenever he let jeongin cry out his worries and fears. and so when he knocked on that door he just knew that it was just the only choice he had. 

hyunjin made sure jeongin was fully asleep before unwrapping his arm to let the younger sleep more comfortably. For a dull minute he didn't know what to do. Hyunjin's not dumb so he can perfectly piece what really happened with the few responses he got from jeongin. One simple question and he just knew it had something to do with his brother. he wanted to ask jeongin about it, but ever since he caught jeongin in chan's room he payed more close attention to the two since it was highly suspicious and he was right. Something was definitely going on and hyunjin didn't like it one bit. Even after he picked up the courage to actually ask chan he left the room with a even more worried mindset. Seungmin said to leave it alone because jeongin never brought it up so he shouldn't either. hyunjin listened to seungmin of course but he lost his train of thought when he almost choked from swallowing too much water. 

hyunjin went back into his room and snuggled under the covers, facing the opposite side of jeongin. as he falls into slumber a slight buzz from under the covers. Huffing in annoyance from the slight disturbances he pulls out what seems to be jeongin's phone and tosses it on his floor ( he had carpet floors so it was fine). unbeknownst to him at the exact moment chan finally arrived home, he quietly moved through the house and when he got to his room, he fetched his phone from his back pocket. 

 **12:37 PM, Chan:** hey innie 

 **12:38 PM, Chan:** you awake? 

 chan changed into some sweats and a tshirt, multitasking while checking if jeongin responded. He slightly grimaced when he accidentally reads the texts before all while the memories of just a few hours ago resurfaces his mind. The guilt will probably eat him off tomorrow but he'll think about it when it becomes necessary He sent his last text and turned his phone off.

 **12:41 PM, Chan:** goodnight bby, talk to you tomorrow 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_( author note; i think it was very funny how chan texted jeongin without even knowing he was literally next door loool)_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit/ NOTICEEE thats kinda unimportant but whatvea:   
> sorry for who already read this before i wrote this notice but next update might be in september or in the middle of it because   
> i decided to squeeze 3 chaps into one so i can close this fic up and finish it for good ( the stress of writing lol ) and since i take   
> a month or so just to write one so imagine a whole ass three chaps mixed into one :)) very long writing process, me starting the last chapter as my tears soke my laptop and so it crashes then i comeback next year or something lol kidding.
> 
>  
> 
> hello people who are reading thank you and and REALLY appreciate comments and not to be picky but dont comment just i love this or something short cuz it makes me think you're a bot for some reason lol.
> 
> anyways shitposting. the person who reads this note should get a prize for actually getting to the end lol. also i edited this at 2am so sorry for any mistakes or grammar stuff because i wanted to get this out as quickly ap lol.


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